Citroen C4 Grand Picasso Review

What is going on with Citroen! First came the freakish but cool C4 Coupe (I currently have the special rally-esque "By LOEB" edition on test - great fun) and now the all new C4 Picasso replaces the Xsara Picasso. You remember the Xsara Picasso, a great big round fat thing, kinda looked like an conservatory on wheels with about as much style and poise as a fat queen playing lead in The Nutcracker.

Where do I start with the new C4 Picasso, hmmm ugly round fat zero-poise zero style… now think the exact opposite of all of those words and you're still not even close to how out-and-out sexy and amazing the new Picasso is. If you'd told me 2yrs ago that anyone, least of all Citroen, would finally release an MVP with a bit of sporty style and sexy appeal I would have slapped you with your Gucci Man-Bag and had you committed for insanity.

I tested the 5 seat 2.0HDI 138hp EGS Exclusive Diesel with the EGS 6sp auto gearbox, the Picasso range starts at £14,495 for the basic LX model and the list price for my test car without the endless optional extras is £21,195.

At first I just couldn't get on with the EGS (electric) gearbox, I found it jumpy and totally lacking power, almost to the point of irritating, however being the focused homo that I am I persevered and eventually ended up telling my mum. Now my mum has driven MPV's pretty much since they came out, she's disabled, she always drives automatics. What better way to see if your average person can get on with the electric auto than letting your 62yr old disabled mother have a go… needless to say in typical gay-man-mum fashion she preceded to jump straight in and not only did she find the auto great (although she couldn't get used to putting it in neutral not park), she, first time, drove smoothly and had none of the jerking or jumpiness I found. She also mastered the paddle shift and really had the Picasso shifting (how embarrassing for me!) better than I did (I pray she doesn't read this otherwise I'll never hear the end of it).

From the outside the new Picasso looks stunning and a little evil from just about any angle, it's meaty, sporty (even in LX trim), chic and really looks the dogs do-dars, its sleek with attitude and I honestly think it's the best looking MVP on the market. 
Inside it's a whole new kettle of fish, thanks to the panoramic windscreen, putting glass where metal used to be, the inside feels truly enormous, airy and bright, the seats and seating position is outstanding and again, because of all that glass, visibility is second to none.

The cabin feels solid and well put together, rear legroom isn't huge but the upright seating position means that any happy homo's in the back don't feel crushed. The build quality is great and even on the basic spec LX there's plenty of spec and enough toys and gadgets to keep you happy for a long time. So advice time - I would definitely buy one over any other MPV, make sure you buy it in black and get the 17" alloys, because its just stunning, and get the windows tinted as it really makes the Picasso look mean. Oh and (sorry Citroen) unless you have to don't buy the auto go manual instead.