Audi RS5 review

Oh where to start, well firstly it's an Audi, secondly it's a super sport version of an already brilliant car that's selling hand over fist.  From the previous sentence you can surely tell that it's irritating good..... AGAIN!

It's true, when it comes to its brand and vehicles, Audi just can't seem to put a foot wrong.  When it comes to producing thorough-bred, out-and-out super and unreal-to-drive sports cars, nobody does it quite as well.  Nor none so frequently when you come to think about it, with all versions of it's cars (regardless of class), than the German giant.  Let's start with Audi's experience of knocking out RS badged derivatives of it's cars...

Back in the early 90's (1994 to be exact) Audi launched the RS2 Avant, a surefire hit that started the trend for the super fast Audi load lugging estates... 2000 saw the RS4 Avant released to a waiting and expectant general public, power had increased to 380 bhp and buyers couldn't get enough of one of the fastest estates to grace Tarmac.... Skip forward to 2009 and the latest incarnation of the breath-stealing 550bhp RS6 Avant, along the way remember the RS4 Convertible (one of the finest convertibles to drive) and the stunning TT RS with its unending ability to make you feel like a racing car driver behind its wheel. 

Yes, without doubt, Audi have certainly kicked some outrageously mad horses out its stable in recent years. All have been styled more aggressively than a tubby middle-aged mum of 7 foolishly handing her public image over to Trannie and Suzanne or the god-awful Wan (my apologies, I meant Gok Wan, God-awful just trips off my tongue when I contemplate the over-camp over-styled over-gay, just generally OVER, self appointed and self proclaimed 'fashion' guru).  So what’s so different with the RS5 over all the other RS's then I hear you cry, absolutely NOTHING and that is wherein the genius lies.... It's literally just like every other RS in the Audi line-up, sheer brilliance, its a supped up A5 coupe with an aggressive body kit.  It also kicks out an awe and smile inducing 480bhp, as well as an exhaust note (when you shift the auto box to Sport or Manual mode) that makes butterflies flutter around beneath your 6 pack at the mere thought to 'booting' it. It's also lowered and stiffened so when you unleash the beast, you genuinely notice the difference. 

The Handling thanks to the superb Quattro system is as your can expect, second-to-none, sure-footed and just like every other RS, clings on harder in corners at higher-speeds, than an 18yr old disco bunny to his 40yr old 'sugar-daddy's' boyfriends wallet. 

When looking at the competition, well there's the Merc CLK AMG (which still hasn't been face-lifted to the new 'aggressive' merc family front, so we can discount that straight away) then theres the BMW M3 (which is fine if you want everyone in your social circle to refer to you as 'the tosser with the M3') and the Lexus ISF (which is actually a four door saloon and NOT a coupe), however it would be my second choice if I wasn't totally and utterly in love with the RS5.

I do have a few irritations however with this all-new RS, the major one being the fact that you DON'T get sat-nav as standard! You get the amazing BOSE sound system, but you don't get the Audi MMI system or the Sat Nav included in the price.  I actually think for the price its outrageous that the product team who developed the RS5 thought it acceptable make customers purchase the system as a cost option.... On to my second irritation, which is actually connected somewhat to the first.

So what have the RS5 product team decided would be more beneficial than Audi's kick-arse SatNav and MMI system to buyers of the RS5.... An electric rear blind!! IT’S A BLOODY COUPE! But to add insult to injury, you don't even get tinted rear windows. 

Thus making the electric rear blind about as useful as a solar powered torch to a Chilean miner. I think for the cost of the rear blind I’m pretty sure 99.9% of the buyers would have preferred to have had the ability to navigate themselves all over Europe without paying an additional £2,500 on top of the price of the car, over having the ability to keep the sun off of a rear passengers head, when the sun is directly behind the car.

Other than that little niggle, the RS5 is without doubt an amazing motor, its fun, sexy, sporty, super-quick, but also retains the ability to waft and cruise along in the fashion of a great GT (grand-tourer).    

At under £60,000 it’s pretty much a bargain, if you’re in the market for a top of the range sporty coupe.